Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hey...Somebody Has to Suck

There's been a lot of talk, and it appears to be serious, about expanding the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship Tournament from a field of 64 teams to 96. This is stupid, but its also a product of a society that increasingly places a value on "everybody's the same and good!" over "some people are better at things than others, and we should not pretend that isn't the case."

Expanding the tournament is a bad idea on its own.  Some coaches are trying to sell the whole "there are more good teams than spots in the tournament" idea, but I'm not buying it.  Already, the college basketball regular season means very little. All you have to do is have a pretty good 
 and you're rewarded with a shot at the National Championship (20 wins and you're in the tournament). Even if you don't have the best year (let's say you're sitting on 17 or 18 wins), you still have a shot at making the NCAA tournament if you win your conference championship tournament. Therefore, what's most important is what you do at the very end and after the regular season.

Allowing 96 teams into the Big Dance means that now just having a decent year gets you a shot at the Title. 15 wins and you're in. If that's the case, why even have a regular season? There'd be very little point to it. We might as well do something retarded like use a computer formula or vote on who we want to see play for the championship! (take THAT, you BCS lovers) Why dilute your product like that? I'll tell you why:

"Because everybody deserves a shot! Everybody's good! We don't want to exclude anybody! Everybody should feel like a winner!"

(That, and the NCAA can then milk CBS into giving them some more money for another weekend of "Championship Basketball")

You keep hearing whiny, self-serving coaches like Villanova's Jay Wright say things like: " I don't think there's anything in college basketball that's more important than expanding that field."

"I don't give a shit what you say!   Of COURSE Montclair State should make the Tournament!"
Why? So coaches can hang onto their jobs of coaching mediocre basketball by saying, "Hey, we keep making the tournament!" But if everyone makes the tournament, what does that mean? (For the record, I think Jay Wright is a good coach, and I like that Villanova team. He happens to be the most recent coach to talk about this, but there have been many others.)

Don't we want "making the tournament" to mean something? That phrase will become the new "we've made a bowl appearance!" (Yeah, in the eharmony.com bowl, between the 4th place big 12 team and the 5th place PAC-10 team.) Who cares?

The NCAA should want to avoid statements like that. They should want us to care. A lot.

But this idea goes deeper than just the NCAA Tournament:

Youth leagues where they don't keep score are spreading like wildfire. This is ridiculous in so many ways. When you try to explain this to some half-wit yuppie parent who supports this, you get these ignorant, mood-stabilizer-fueled responses:

"The most important thing is that everybody has fun!"

Incorrect. The most important thing is that your child learns the sport you've signed him up to play. Then fun.

Is this what we want?

"There's no reason to keep track of points scored or stats. It doesn't matter who wins!"

Monday, March 1, 2010

Hockey Thoughts


-Sunday's gold medal hockey match...wow. These are the rare moments when I'm reminded how much I loved hockey when I was 10, before the '95 New Jersey Devils came along with their stupid neutral-zone trap and ruined it for everybody who happens not to love 2-1 and 1-0 games in which 70% of the action happens in the middle of the rink. This game was absolutely phenomenal, as was much of the tournament. Team USA came out looking tight and nervous, while the Canadiens seemed like they remembered, "Oh yeah, we are supposed to be the best at this!" After Canada took a 2-0 lead, we got to watch the game slowly turn. We snuck a goal in and watch our confidence grow. Canada tightened up. With about 2:50 to go in the game, I turned to my brother-in-law and asked, "Where's Parise?" At the 25-second mark he said, "Here! I'm right here!" We thought USA had it. Ryan Miller was the best goalie of the whole tournament, and we had him holding it down in OT. However, the heir to the game had other plans. Sidney Crosby found the smallest of holes and fired the puck through it, giving Canada the gold and setting off hysteria in Canada. Well done, ya hosers.



-As for Team USA, they have nothing to be ashamed of. They took the favorite in the tournament to the absolute edge, but just couldn't quite nudge them off the cliff. They played the best tournament they possibly could have, and never let up for even a minute. Possibly the most well-earned silver medals in history. Zach Parise showed himself to be a star, and Ryan Miller made a case to be considered the best goalie playing right now. As you know, our motto here is "Losing is for Losers," and though it hurts me a little to say...well done, ya losers.

-If I were running the NHL, my long-term plan for the league would be to have watched the 2010 Olympic tournament, and then just do everything they did. I don't understand why the NHL has to have different rules. Why is the rink smaller in the NHL? Why did it take 80 years to do away with the center red line? What benefit does that dumbass trapezoid behind the net provide to anybody? Why is fighting viewed as important, instead of something that grinds the game to a screeching halt and is the exact same nearly every time (if you've seen one hockey fight, you've seen them all)? Most importantly, why the need for a ridiculous amount of commercials instead of having everything sponsored, allowing for significantly longer stretches of uninterrupted play at a faster pace? I feel like there are no good answers to any of these questions, and if there are, I am going to choose to ignore them.